Me and Chelsie's Big Fight

So, this story definitely is not that flattering to me at all. And maybe it’s not for this posting, it’s something I think about it all the time. It taught me a big lesson.. It teaches me to learn to not try to change other people to fit some ideal that I think I know cause I really don’t know anything, I admit it:) Me and Chelsie got into an argument when she was in the hospital because she had this tendency to vent about nurses and people who came in and tried to do service, she hated it when she felt like people weren’t being sincere. So because I thought I would do her good and in my effort to fix her problems by my ignorant words. I told her that this experience might possibly go better for her if she would stop being so negative. I think Chelsie thought that was about the worst and meanest thing anyway could have possibly said. And I think if I had put myself in her shoes for a moment, I would have understood why.. Chelsie had to think about having cancer every moment of every day, she had to decided over and over again how she was going to handle all the needles and the pain. She choose to not talk about it and to not complain about it. So instead she tried to focus on TV shows and things she saw and observed everyday, some of it was bad some was good, she liked being able to be honest. I think it was more of a conversation piece. Her way of coping was not to mention her disease. Maybe under the mentality that if “you couldn’t say something nice don’t say anything at all.” Anyway, she talked to everyone about our fight, in an effort to be understood, I thought she was making such a big deal about a little comment, but she thought it was so important that we all understood how hard she was trying to keep a positive perspective, even though it didn’t always show. She was so adamant about it, it went on for a couple of weeks. It taught me a lot about not jumping to conclusions and seeking 1st to understand a person before making petty judgements. Me and Chelsie were sometimes too much the same, I definitely regret all those stupid comments I choose to make.

Chelsie in the Hospital

Once while Chelsie was in the hospital, I think she had been really sick because of the pain in her throat and had to be hospitalized…she was so disappointed because it would mean that she wouldn’t get to have a full three weeks between chemo treatments. I think she had been in the hospital for a week and she was so sick of everyone and of that place, being in the hospital just put her in a bad mood…maybe it was because she was no longer in the land of the living and the unsick…she was in land of the sick and she hated feeling that way. I think most of the time she liked to pretend that she was not all that bad and the hospital made that impossible. It is not really a distinguishable memory just one that I remember, but we had been waiting all morning for her to get released and those things take forever, finally the doctor said she was released. I told her… “Chelsie, you get to go home!!” She got so instantly happy, she was smiling and so excited! She was still so weak but couldn’t get her shoes and her jacket on fast enough but all she wanted to do was get in that car and be on her way It was really a special memory to me then! I hadn’t seen her happy and hopeful for awhile and it was so touching to see her transformation. It made me shed a tear or two on the way home.